YES! That easy… and That Hard!

It sounds easy doesn’t it? It’s NOT!

Just over 2 years ago, I started writing the Andarii Chronicles. I woke up one morning from the most intriguing dream I’ve ever had and I couldn’t wait to tell someone about it.

When I did, she said “You should write about that. It would make a great book!”

So I did. I wrote and I got stuck. And I wrote. And I got stuck…

This pattern continued for over a year but the characters in my head would not shut up and they would not go away. By that time, they had voices: Loud ones. They had personalities: Strong ones. And they wanted life! They wanted to exist outside of my head! So I finally found a way to make it flow. The dam broke and the words flew out of me!

Once that happened, it took me less than 3 months to finish book 1: “The Chosen” (NOW renamed “The Taken”) and I went ahead to book 2 while my editor took a crack at book 1. And book 2 flew.

Before I knew it, I had 200 pages.

After that, I went back and forth between editing book 1 and writing book 2. And when I finally finished editing book 1, felt like it was ready, I wrote a synopsis and a Query letter and started querying agents.

Only 1 agent wanted to see more.

Only 1 agent requested additional material from me. And they were obviously not impressed because they wrote back (too fast in my opinion) that it wasn’t the type of thing they were looking for. I didn’t hear back from every other agent I queried but since it’s been more than 6 months now, I feel confident they’re not interested.

So what did I do with all the rejection? For a time, I let it bog me down. I figured I was wasting my time. If no one wanted to represent me, why should I even continue… In other words, MAJOR pity party time. Yes I succumbed to my baser human pity.

And then I got over it. I started working again, albeit not with the speed I had previously achieved. After all summer was in full swing and there were lots of places to go and things to do. And now school has started again and we are still busy with other things.

Now, after months of going back and forth between hurt and indecision, I have finally realized what my problem has been all along. I said I was trusting God but was I really?

NO. I was not.

I trusted him to give me the words but I didn’t trust him to do what needed to be done with them. And that is why it has not yet succeeded. Now, I am moving forward with God in control. I am allowing him to guide the words AND how I use them. I am editing with him in mind. I am writing with him in mind. I am working toward the goal I should have been headed for all along.

THANK YOU GOD for the words! THANK YOU GOD for the inspiration! THANK YOU GOD for your patience with me!

And THANK YOU GOD for being so understanding of us poor tunnel vision humans when we refuse to see the big picture.